Case History 23 - Recovery from after effects of sexual abuse of a male child by an adult woman
Ken was a 39 year old professional man who complained that he had always been a very angry young man who hated to be touched although he was totally unaware of the underlying reason for it.
During our first few consultations it transpired that he had an unhappy childhood with his parents, although he had enormous blanks in the earlier part of his childhood. His father who was authoritarian and totally unloving towards him often chastised him by hitting him with belts, slippers and so on. The worst case of punishment that he remembered was when aged 6 or 7 he had been chased around their flat by his father, caught, held down and a very bitter tablet violently crushed into his mouth all because he had used a word to which his father objected. His mother was very loving but quite weak willed especially in the presence of the father and was invariably ill. Ken thought in retrospect that basically her illnesses most of which were stress related were probably due to the behavior of his father especially towards me as the boy although he seemed to have a much warmer relationship with his sister who was a couple of years younger.
The other severe issue that Ken seemed to have was the fact that he could not bear to be touched by anyone especially a woman and he had noticed that he had progressively become more attracted to men so that in his late twenties he had realised that in fact he may be gay, although because of his marked anger and inability to be touched, he could not have a proper relationship with a male partner either.
I had asked him to learn autogenic training (Link to autogenic book in books) especially the anger off-loading exercises as well as doing the usual healing meditation which I teach all my clients. He was very keen to improve his lot and consequently learnt that techniques with gusto and regularly performed the anger off-loading exercises which sometimes did as often as 3 times a day and occasionally going on for as long as half to an hour. Because he was also very artistic, I had taught him a special technique of off-loading using spontaneous painting mainly using primary colors. (Link to autogenic book in books).
The first 3 sessions were quite uneventful and nothing much had come up from his work at home either. When he came for his fourth session, he told me that during one off his anger off-loading sessions the week before, the suicide of his mother a couple of years previously had spontaneously come up. He had thought that he had dealt with that issue previously but had not realized how angry and let down he had felt. The release of emotions around that episode in his life went on for some weeks until he felt completely emptied out.
During the fifth session of healing, he suddenly became aware that between the ages of 5-7 he had regularly been sexually abused by his female nanny. He remembered vividly the whole horrendous experience which he had completely blocked out from his memory.
He went of with the emotional off-loading exercises which took on a much more intense feel to them and we continued with his healing especially that part of his earlier life.
At the end of our series of healing sessions, for the first time he started feeling true internal peace and tranquility and found that he started loving being touched and touching others and in fact had become very keen on hugging and being hugged which he had not been able to stand until that point. Although his relationship with women had altered dramatically, he definitely decided that he was gay and was thence able to form a loving and long term relationship with another man.
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